I think one of the greatest things in my life is getting to watch B and Heinz sing Pussycat Dolls songs together.
“WHAT IS LOVE” JUST CAME ON AND VEX, CROW, WILL, HEINZ, LEN (AND LUKE ATTACHED TO LEN), AND BJ ARE FUCKING DANCING DOWN THE HALL IN A CONGA LINE
I THINK BJ JUST TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF AND IS SWINGING IT ABOVE HIS HEAD OH GOD
this bastard is secretly the cuddliest fucker in existence
he rivals Len even
and guys I
also can’t handle the amount of cute going on over here right now
WE HAVE GUESTS AND THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND I AM SEVERELY ENTERTAINED
Help. Max and Luke are arguing over vegetables, and Len is hiding under the table trying to avoid them.
Somehow I can’t believe “No Skateboarding in the House” is actually now a rule around here.
About five minutes ago, Crow finally shifted a little bit, and then, as he stared unblinking into the distance, quietly whispered
“I’m the joke.”
For not actually having had kids in your particular universe, you are still Den Mama around here. You are a matronly type, whether you believe it or not.
Because I just watched you grab an eleven-year-old by the ear, drag him to the sink, and wash his mouth out with soap until he apologized for saying that someone could “kiss his ass.”
So Max goes up to Crow and says, “Oh my god, I just heard the BEST knock-knock joke!”
And of course he gets an enthusiastic, “Ooh! Tell me!”
So he says, “Okay, okay—this is SO good—but you have to start it first.”
Crow says, “Knock-knock!”
And Max replies, “Who’s there?”
Crow is now sitting unresponsive in the living room apparently having some type of very serious existential crisis.
Advice and commentary from Max so far today:
“Hey, we should buy me something. You know, if you want. Since it is my birthday and all…”
“You should eat the desert first.”
“Fire makes everything better.”
“Laundry? Aw man, why do laundry when you have an Xbox!”
“Wait, wait, wait—you’re an adult and yet you CHOOSE to go to school? WHY.”
“I’m 11 and Luke is only 10! I get to go first!”
“I would just go pick out a puppy right now, if I were you. You know nothing being given away for free is gonna last for long.”
“Ewwwwww, non-carbonated beverages.”
“I think I broke your robot with a knock-knock joke.”
You’re not allowed to argue with the people in my lit class over the value and frailty of the pursuit of happiness while living among the poorest dregs of society in Industrial Era London.
You’re just not.
The cannibalistic superhero watching over them looks on.
Oh Hershel thank god you’re here
Someone needs to draw Hersh walking contentedly in through the front door only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a pile of us lying huddled up on the floor in tears and then him looking very concerned and slightly bewildered and unamused
Probably will have to be me tho
And it is, as always, just SCARY how accurate these are…
Also, weirdly enough, none of us (well, constant residents) turned out the same??
Heinz and Viv both broke the test, tho. I had to have both of them take it twice.
I should have extended family take this later. I let Luke skip it because A) it’s too late and B) he’s probably not too “young” for it, but some of these questions I don’t think he’d be able to answer just yet.